Satire – Coolest Golf Course – Trona, California – An Example Of A Pesticide-Free Golf Facility ?!?! – 2016 03 21
A Golf Facility That Is
Worth Asking For Directions
With Prohibitions Against
Pest Control Products, Will
ALL Golf Facilities Become
Like Trona, California ?!?!
March 21st, 2016
Golf Course Industry
A Personal Story By Guy Cipriano
Selected And Adapted Excerpts
Why Perfect Fairways And Tees Are Not Always
Required For A Memorable Golf Experience !
Sometimes you visit a place where the cell phone signal craps out and you’re left to do something crazy like park the car and enter a ranch-style museum to find directions to a golf course with no web-site and no phone number.
Trona, California, qualifies as one of those places.
Never heard of Trona ?!?!
You’re in the majority.
Trona is a borax mining community about 30 miles south-west of Death Valley National Park.
Trona surrounds a dry lake and boasts a restaurant, family dollar store, post office, gas station, rail line, and a high school that graduated 13 students in 2015, yet still managed to field an eight-man football varsity team.
The Trona Tornadoes football team competes on an ALL-DIRT FIELD.
Looking to squeeze in an outdoor experience during a niece and nephew’s early afternoon naps, I left Ridgecrest, a High Desert community with a naval weapons station, and traveled along California State Route 178 toward Trona.
A rigorous hike was the initial afternoon objective. But I remembered my brother-in-law telling me Trona might have a golf course.
I threw the clubs in my sister’s car just in case the itch hit during the 30-mile drive.
As usual, it hit.
With NO cell phone signal and NO idea of where I was going, I parked beside the Searles Valley Historical Society museum, studied the building and did something unusual ― opened the door and asked actual people for directions to the local golf facility.
I was politely greeted by four women ―
Yes, there’s a golf course here.
It’s past the high school three miles up the road.
But you need $5 to play it.
I toured the nine-room museum, bought a sand-stone coaster with a road sign reading ―
End Of The World, 10 Miles.
Trona, 15 Miles.
I thanked the ladies, two of whom were Midwest natives, and accelerated until seeing a faded sign for Trona Golf Club.
A chain-linked fence with barbed wire across the top established a barrier between the course and parking lot.
The doorknob on the front entrance was unlocked, and I gladly deposited five dollars into a locked honor box.
It then took five minutes to find the first tee.
Score-cards inside a mailbox beside the tee answered basic questions ―
Trona Golf Club Has 18 Holes, Plays To A Par 72, And Measures 6,217 Yards From The Back And 5,115 Yards From The Front Tees.
The view from the first tee signified a golf experience as rugged ― and unique ― as the surrounding landscape.
The teeing grounds are faded, synthetic mats.
Fairways are a collection of rocks, dirt, sand, wild-flowers, weeds, and native plants.
Spotting a green measuring no more than 10 yards by 10 yards when standing 349 yards away is NOT easy, and hitting a driver is NOT smart when a hole’s routing is a bigger mystery than why 35-year-old men in Southern California brag about scoring tickets to a Justin Bieber concert.
A few notable sights rested to the left of the first tee, including maintenance equipment and a wire box with a Rain Bird logo.
The equipment, which included a large tiller, tractor and push mower, looked museum-ready.
The Rain Bird logo suggested some form of irrigation, something confirmed when I approached the first green and saw a mixture of grasses on the surface and a black hose off the side.
One hole down.
So many questions to go.
At this point, I was ready to end my vacation and start investigating.
Yet, I encountered a problem.
I did NOT see or hear one person in two hours on the grounds.
I still cannot find a phone number for the course.
California ranks second behind Florida in the U.S. with 902 golf facilities, according to the National Golf Foundation.
It’s a safe bet none of the other 901 facilities are like Trona Golf Club.
Tom Doak, Gil Hanse, and Bill Coore and Ben Crenshaw’s « natural » creations are suburban compared to this place.
Straight tee shots ricocheting off rocks, the threat of iron faces and shafts snapping on approach shots, putts rolling in myriad of directions, colorful weeds on collars, and the « Caution Rattlesnakes » warning at the entrance are welcomed anomalies.
The ninth hole, which features an intimidating tee shot requiring a diagonal line to a narrow landing area, out of bounds on the left, a sandy depression filled with shrubs on the right, trees behind the green and mountain views, is the San Bernardino County version of The Road Hole.
You exit the green and never forget what you experienced.
The back nine offered temptation, but family hours are commodities, especially when family lives 2,300 miles from your home.
Golf courses, like Trona Golf Club, are also commodities that provide recreational opportunities in unlikely places.
The dry erase board on the clubhouse advertised a scramble with a potluck held in early March, and urged customers to « Please, Please, Please » don’t hit balls from the putting green.
Even people responsible for maintaining golf courses in remote places ― whomever they might be in this case ― must deal with knuckleheads.
For The Whole Truth About SATIRE, COOLEST GOLF COURSES, Please Go To The Following Links …
Force Of Nature — Golf — 2011 07 16 — Satire — Coolest Golf Course — Prison View — pdf — 300 dpi
Force Of Nature — Golf — 2011 04 01 — Satire — Coolest Golf Course — Mini-Golf Course on the Top of a Skoda — pdf
To fight the war against Anti-Pesticide Terrorism, you need facts !
Read … PESTICIDE TRUTHS
Watch … UNCLE ADOLPH
Listen To … NORAHG
Learn From … FORCE OF NATURE
Discover What Anti-Pesticide & Enviro-Lunatic Terrorists Are Doing And Saying About Subversively Imposing Their Life-Style Choices Against Our Society.
Read … Reports, Blogs, & Videos, From Force Of Nature, NORAHG, Pesticide Truths, & Uncle Adolph ― The Whole Truth From An Independent Perspective.
Communities and businesses are being HARMED and DESTROYED and RAPED by LUNATIC-TERRORISTS who ARBITRARILY AND RECKLESSLY IMPOSE PROHIBITIONS against pest control products used in the Urban Landscape and by the Agriculture Industry, and who PERPETRATE OTHER ACTS OF ENVIRONMENTAL TERRORISM.
We are living in the 9|11 Era of Anti Pesticide & Environmental Terrorism where at least ONE SUBVERSIVE ACT OF TERRORISM is perpetrated EVERY SINGLE DAY by LUNATIC-TERRORISTS.
A LUNATIC is a person whose actions and manner are marked by extreme recklessness.
The RECKLESS ACTS OF SUBVERSION by these LUNATIC-TERRORISTS has led to the ARBITRARY IMPOSITION of Anti-Pesticide PROHIBITION in several jurisdictions throughout North America.
The result was CATASTROPHIC CARNAGE !
Because of LUNATIC-TERRORISTS, provinces like Ontario now have a TRAIL OF ECONOMIC DESTRUCTION WITH HUNDREDS OF SMALL BUSINESSES DESTROYED and THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE OUT OF WORK, a MORE DANGEROUS OUTDOOR ENVIRONMENT, and a BLACK MARKET IN PESTICIDES.
Only TRUE LUNATICS would wish to create a TRAIL OF ECONOMIC DESTRUCTION WITH HUNDREDS OF SMALL BUSINESSES DESTROYED and THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE OUT OF WORK.
Because of LUNATIC-TERRORISTS, we are living in the DARK AGE OF ANTI PESTICIDE TERRORISM where sound science is trumped by FAKE SCIENTISTS, JUNK SCIENCE and UNVERIFIABLE SECRET EVIDENCE through FABRICATION, INNUENDO, and INTERNET RUMOR ― scientific research PROVES that pest control products will CAUSE NO HARM and can be USED SAFELY.
An informed public is better able to protect itself and its communities and businesses from LUNATIC-TERRORISTS who are THE LEAST QUALIFIED TO PROVIDE ANY ADVICE about pest control products or the environment.
NORAHG is the National Organization Responding Against HUJE that seek to harm the Green space and other industries, and the well-being of our communities.
NORAHG morally represents the VAST SILENT MAJORITY of people associated with turf and ornamental plant maintenance who are OPPOSED to LUNATIC-TERRORISTS and their Anti Pesticide PROHIBITIONS, resulting in the CLOSURE or ABANDONMENT of green spaces under the RIDICULOUS PRETEXT CONCOCTED BY LUNATICS of somehow « saving » the environment.
NORAHG is a NATIONAL NON-PROFIT NON-PARTISAN organization that does not accept money from corporations or governments or trade associations, and represents NO VESTED INTERESTS WHATSOEVER.
NORAHG is dedicated to reporting PESTICIDE FREE FAILURES, as well as the work of RESPECTED & HIGHLY RATED EXPERTS who promote ENVIRONMENTAL REALISM and PESTICIDE TRUTHS.
NORAHG strikes back against the MYTHS concerning the need for prohibition against pest control products.
NORAHG RESPONDS on behalf of the VAST SILENT MAJORITY of THE PUBLIC THAT DOES NOT WANT PESTICIDE BANS, and SUPPORTS those who work in the Professional Lawn Care Industry, the Golf Industry, and the Agriculture Industry.
RESPECTED & HIGHLY RATED EXPERTS
THE MYTHS ABOUT BANNING PESTICIDES
VAST SILENT MAJORITY
NORAHG is opposed to PESTICIDE FREE jurisdictions where LUNATIC-TERRORISTS have DOOMED CHILDREN to SUFFER INJURIES since Anti-Pesticide PROHIBITION inevitably leads to public and residential green spaces that become DANGEROUS AND PEST-INFESTED GARBAGE DUMPS.
Go to the following links …
ANTI-PESTICIDE PROHIBITION DESTROYED GREEN SPACES
PESTICIDE BANS MADE OUR GREEN SPACES LOOK #@!!% UGLY – PHOTO GALLERY
EMERALD ASH BORER – SAFE & EFFECTIVE INSECTICIDES VERSUS CHAIN SAWS
NORAHG is concerned that, because of PESTICIDE FREE MAINTENANCE of parks and sports fields, CHILDREN ARE AT HIGHER RISK OF SUFFERING INJURIES with DANGEROUS PLAYING SURFACES CREATED BY #@!!% PESTICIDE BANS.
CHILDREN ARE NOT AT RISK
NORAHG pledges to deliver comprehensive reports that are worthy of peoples’ time and of peoples’ concern, reports that might ordinarily never have breached the parapet.
NORAHG was the brainchild of William H Gathercole and his colleagues in 1991. Mr Gathercole is now retired, although his name continues to appear as founder.
Force Of Nature was launched by NORAHG for CONTINUOUS transmission on the Internet on January 1st, 2009 ― however, the VERY FIRST Stand-Alone Force Of Nature Report was issued on September 19th, 2008.
On March 15th, 2010, Uncle Adolph independently launched The Pesticide Truths, an easy-to-use Web-Site that collects relevant reports of information right-off-the-press.
Primus inter pares, first among equals, describes Pesticide Truths, Uncle Adolph, and Force Of Nature ― they are formally equal to each other and are all accorded equal respect.
The reports and blogs from Pesticide Truths, Uncle Adolph, and Force Of Nature, in some ways, are like Google for everything concerning the SUBVERSIVE ACTIVITIES of Anti-Pesticide and Enviro-Lunatic Terrorists.
Many of these reports and blogs provide a sequence of historical events WITH COMMENTARY, the neutrality of which might be disputed.
This is what we do. Don’t thank us. It’s a public service. And we are glad to do it.
For The Complete Library of reports from Force Of Nature, NORAHG, Pesticide Truths, and Uncle Adolph, go to the following archives …
ABOUT UNCLE ADOLPH
FORCE OF NATURE WEB-PAGES
NORAHG ⁄ FON ON FACEBOOK ― NORAHG RESPONSES
PESTICIDE LINKS ― PESTICIDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED BY HEALTH CANADA
TABLE OF CONTENTS ― THE COMPLETE LIBRARY OF WEB-PAGES, REPORTS, & REFERENCES
THE PESTICIDE TRUTHS WEB-SITE ― ARCHIVE OF REPORTS
UNCLE ADOLPH’S ORIGINAL PESTICIDE TRUTHS BLOG
UNCLE ADOLPH ON SCRIBD ― OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS
UNCLE ADOLPH ON YOUTUBE ― VIDEO LIBRARY
When lies, false allegations, and terrorism against pest control products are left unanswered, they risk becoming accepted as conventional wisdom !
What have YOU done in the war against Anti-Pesticide Terrorism ?!?!